My startling discovery of a body can show us the inherently masculine roles in a healthy society and within an emergency. Our societal attempts to eradicate masculine instincts will have real-world consequences.
"openness...it's a type of permanent immaturity..."
Seldom are truer words spoke in this age of 'word-harm.'
Fyi - you did the right thing in not approaching him. But you already know that. That jogger guy did do the right thing in putting himself into a potentially dangerous scenario Instead of watching you do it. I would have done the same thing. That's our job.
Whatever else men do on this rock, whatever our other jobs or skillsets... we are first and foremost hunters and guardians. It's hardwired into us, whether by God or thousands of years of adaptation (or both). This is why we have the muscle mass, bone density, colder logic and fury of battle infused into our reactions and subconscious. This is indeed the realm of men. To safeguard women and children. Always.
Women have their own realms upon this Earth, and very important ones at that, just as men have theirs. The potentially dangerous, violent encounters with predators and monsters... that is our realm. It will always be ours.
I worked in an industrial yard for a few years. I came to appreciate how men are often willing to put themselves at risk, not wait for proper safety equipment, monkey up the warehouse racks to get photo, lift something at the edge of their strength, and were ALWAYS willing to lend a hand when I found a task either beyond my skill or strength level or required tools I didn't own. They will get it done in order to facilitate the work flow, keep everyone moving, and get everyone a paycheck to take home to a family. It's why they have shorter lifespans! As a woman in that setting I campaigned for better warehouse layout and workflow tweaks that would prevent some of the need to just push things around, procedures that would help prevent injury and retirement with a worn out body. Sometimes they listened. They were men, bless them, and they usually opted to act now and think later. Men, bless them, are wired to act now. Women are more honest about their abilities. I think the lesson from your experience and mine is that we should not hesitate to recruit help. Men ARE wired to help a woman.
Very good insights. A colleague of my wife (both teachers) with a background in law enforcement, security, and forensic psychology told her that "gut feelings" are often right, and that when (especially) women ignore them so as not to offend, they often suffer violence.
This has always been the dynamic with my husband and in my household. Heavy stuff - he picks it up. Scary stuff, the man goes first. Unless it’s a spider - then I’m on my own.
Your hesitant response manifested the world we live in. I have had essentially this same discussion about simply stopping for cars that present as disabled with also at times people waving for help. The last time it happened was on a portion of Interstate 10 also almost on the Mexican border. I felt bad but did not stop even for what appeared to be a solo middle-aged woman. With regard to you, females especially end up murdered and raped or whatever simply because they were good people and stopped to help someone "in need." It is the uncaring that end up not being victimized. Bizarre juxtaposition but reality.
A BLACK man? Gasp! Where are my pearls to clutch at your evil racism? Lol. Your observations are spot-on. As a man, my gut reaction is treat males and females differently, and I generally act accordingly, but not always. Sadly, I first weigh the situation and decide whether or not my actions could be construed as sexist or insulting, and usually feel compelled to qualify my actions. ie "I'm sure you're very capable yourself, but I'd be happy to help if you'd like."
Unfortunately, we have become fearful of rendering assistance to someone who seems to be in need because such an altruistic act might put us in jeopardy. This is not an irrational fear. Roadside injuries or accidents have been faked in order to rob a Good Samaritan who stops to help. In fact, faked accidents have become a common way to steal automobiles. So, persons of either sex risk themselves by offering assistance in unknown circumstances. Though most men would take such a risk to protect women from possible danger, it is generally better and safer to call emergency services. In the case that you describe, unless the person happening upon the body has specific medical training to offer general first aid, one's intervention might cause more harm than good. One without such training should use a cell phone call to 911 to report the body and stay on the line. The desire to serve as a Good Samaritan to those in need does not require exposing oneself to possible criminal threats.
This reminds me of an experience I had nearly thirty years ago. I worked for a small business that located in a building near a Salvation Army shelter in an economically depressed area. My boss found a body at the back door one morning and reported it, only to be identified as a suspect by the police. He was cleared. About a month later I found an individual on the access road near the building, face up with vomit in his mouth, and very pale. I reported this scene exactly this way and avoided being identified as a suspect. The business did not last a year, and I was fortunate to find other employment with the city government.
"openness...it's a type of permanent immaturity..."
Seldom are truer words spoke in this age of 'word-harm.'
Fyi - you did the right thing in not approaching him. But you already know that. That jogger guy did do the right thing in putting himself into a potentially dangerous scenario Instead of watching you do it. I would have done the same thing. That's our job.
Whatever else men do on this rock, whatever our other jobs or skillsets... we are first and foremost hunters and guardians. It's hardwired into us, whether by God or thousands of years of adaptation (or both). This is why we have the muscle mass, bone density, colder logic and fury of battle infused into our reactions and subconscious. This is indeed the realm of men. To safeguard women and children. Always.
Women have their own realms upon this Earth, and very important ones at that, just as men have theirs. The potentially dangerous, violent encounters with predators and monsters... that is our realm. It will always be ours.
God bless.
I worked in an industrial yard for a few years. I came to appreciate how men are often willing to put themselves at risk, not wait for proper safety equipment, monkey up the warehouse racks to get photo, lift something at the edge of their strength, and were ALWAYS willing to lend a hand when I found a task either beyond my skill or strength level or required tools I didn't own. They will get it done in order to facilitate the work flow, keep everyone moving, and get everyone a paycheck to take home to a family. It's why they have shorter lifespans! As a woman in that setting I campaigned for better warehouse layout and workflow tweaks that would prevent some of the need to just push things around, procedures that would help prevent injury and retirement with a worn out body. Sometimes they listened. They were men, bless them, and they usually opted to act now and think later. Men, bless them, are wired to act now. Women are more honest about their abilities. I think the lesson from your experience and mine is that we should not hesitate to recruit help. Men ARE wired to help a woman.
Very good insights. A colleague of my wife (both teachers) with a background in law enforcement, security, and forensic psychology told her that "gut feelings" are often right, and that when (especially) women ignore them so as not to offend, they often suffer violence.
This has always been the dynamic with my husband and in my household. Heavy stuff - he picks it up. Scary stuff, the man goes first. Unless it’s a spider - then I’m on my own.
More words of wisdom from Sarah Cain. Imagine living in a society that follows her words - it would be the very definition of a "civil society".
Your hesitant response manifested the world we live in. I have had essentially this same discussion about simply stopping for cars that present as disabled with also at times people waving for help. The last time it happened was on a portion of Interstate 10 also almost on the Mexican border. I felt bad but did not stop even for what appeared to be a solo middle-aged woman. With regard to you, females especially end up murdered and raped or whatever simply because they were good people and stopped to help someone "in need." It is the uncaring that end up not being victimized. Bizarre juxtaposition but reality.
A BLACK man? Gasp! Where are my pearls to clutch at your evil racism? Lol. Your observations are spot-on. As a man, my gut reaction is treat males and females differently, and I generally act accordingly, but not always. Sadly, I first weigh the situation and decide whether or not my actions could be construed as sexist or insulting, and usually feel compelled to qualify my actions. ie "I'm sure you're very capable yourself, but I'd be happy to help if you'd like."
Splendidly clear and true Gal!
Excellent piece!
Unfortunately, we have become fearful of rendering assistance to someone who seems to be in need because such an altruistic act might put us in jeopardy. This is not an irrational fear. Roadside injuries or accidents have been faked in order to rob a Good Samaritan who stops to help. In fact, faked accidents have become a common way to steal automobiles. So, persons of either sex risk themselves by offering assistance in unknown circumstances. Though most men would take such a risk to protect women from possible danger, it is generally better and safer to call emergency services. In the case that you describe, unless the person happening upon the body has specific medical training to offer general first aid, one's intervention might cause more harm than good. One without such training should use a cell phone call to 911 to report the body and stay on the line. The desire to serve as a Good Samaritan to those in need does not require exposing oneself to possible criminal threats.
This reminds me of an experience I had nearly thirty years ago. I worked for a small business that located in a building near a Salvation Army shelter in an economically depressed area. My boss found a body at the back door one morning and reported it, only to be identified as a suspect by the police. He was cleared. About a month later I found an individual on the access road near the building, face up with vomit in his mouth, and very pale. I reported this scene exactly this way and avoided being identified as a suspect. The business did not last a year, and I was fortunate to find other employment with the city government.
As always, an insight that brings hope to us whose hope appears forlorn.
Very good piece. Best wishes from the UK.
Excellent once again, Sarah. Expressed wih perfect clarity.
One of your best writings Sarah. Thank you.